My Wedding Hero

photo: brandon kidd

Over the weekend, by chance, I met up with a woman whose wedding I officiated last year. She is one of my wedding heroes. Why? Well, everything that could have gone wrong with her wedding did. And by “everything” I am not really exaggerating.

Shortly before the ceremony, the zipper on her dress broke. The flowers were not the ones she had ordered. The tablecloths were not the color she had ordered. The musicians were late. The shuttle van from the hotel broke down and guests were stranded for a half-hour. The ceremony was delayed an hour.

Through it all she remained calm. Not once did she get angry. How did she do it? I was in awe of her. She told me that it was the happiest day of her life and she wasn’t going to let anything ruin her happiness.

She told me that the ceremony was beautiful (thank you!) and that she and her guests had a blast at the reception.

She is my hero. May I suggest that you keep this bride in mind as you plan and live out your own celebration. . .

New Year--New Posts!

It's been way too long since I posted here. . .
so here's to a new year and a new decade--and many new posts!
First up is an entry from one of my fav photograpers, Cherie Steinberg.
The photo is of Aimee and Dave, mutual friends of ours.

The photographer can make the wedding. They are like the psychiatrists, the fashion photographers, the stylist, technical engineer, psychologist, mother, father, friend and comedian. They are your eyes and your ears. They may even make or break the wedding.
The photography decision is the one that all your guests will either say, “Wow, what an amazing team of people you chose. They were incredible, capturing every detail of the day.” Or they will be the people that the guests will say, “Hmm, what a jerk the photographer was.” Love their photography studio and then love their images.
The relationship between you and your photographer needs to be very personal. It’s like choosing the right doctor or the right house. It is a very important decision. If you have to get a cheaper cake or get chicken instead of beef, do it!! Take the $1000 savings and transfer it to the photographers.
Again I urge… Please – do not skimp on the photographer. Your photographer will create your family heirlooms. That is why you need to get the best photographer you can afford.
To give you some perspective of how important this person will be in your life, I’ll share with you that many of our clients become personal friends. Our studio later photographs their pregnancies, their children, and their families. We are included in all family functions and photograph for years to come, and oftentimes we photograph extended family, neighbors and friends. We become woven into their lives.

Perfection vs. Magic

photo: mike segal

Yesterday I officiated the wedding of Alicia and Joel. The ceremony was scheduled to start at 4 PM. By 3:30 the DJ had not arrived. Crunch time. Joel remained calm, though clearly worried. The best man put in a call and the DJ finally called back at 3:45. He said he was running late and that he’d be at the venue in 15 minutes. 4:00 came round and still no DJ. Joel was still calm—Alicia would walk down the aisle to music! The DJ finally showed at 4:30 and the ceremony began at 5:00.

I thought it was remarkable that throughout it all no one panicked. Joel and Alicia were determined that no one and no thing would ruin the joy, excitement, and fun of their great day.
While waiting, guests were served cocktails and had a grand time mingling and meeting-up with old friends and family.

Everyone acknowledged that glitches happen. This was one more thing that would be added to the stories told years from now.

This is what I think is the difference between a “perfect” and a “magical” wedding. Perfection strives to impress. Magic strives to remember what is most important—love, loyalty, family, friends, and the good hearts and wills with which they surround a couple.

Alicia and Joel’s family and friends brought more music with them than any DJ could offer.

The Power Of Rings

Rings are an ancient symbol
blessed & simple;
round like the sun,
like the eye,
like arms that embrace.
Circles,
for love that is given
comes back round & round again.
Therefore, may these symbols remind you
that your love,
like the sun, illumines.
That your love,
like the eye, must see clearly.

And that your love,
like arms that embrace
is a grace upon this world.

Caring For Your Out-Of-Town Guests Pt. 2

photo: meg smith

More from Tobey Dodge

When it comes to giving directions to the rehearsal dinner and the wedding ceremony/reception, some details really make the difference in your guests comfort level and enjoyment quotient.

A few annotations to the google map or mapquest info is always a big help. Make sure you have personally driven the route/s your guests will most likely be taking to make sure if there are any guideposts or difficult areas to understanding the traffic lights or signs. Let the virgin driver to the area know about the two way stop signs, round-abouts, and narrow or windy roads ahead of time. Often these quaint places chosen for the wedding and rehearsal dinners are off the beaten path tucked away in the nooks and crannies of a romantic hideaway village.

It's good to have an emergency number of someone with a responsible nature to call for a damsel in distress or a missing uncle who changed trains or planes and didn't tell someone in time during the wedding weekend.

Most importantly as a bride and groom, remember that you can't make everyone happy at the same time. There are bound to be some loveable nut cases in every group that will never be satisfied, no matter how much pre-planning you do.

Soo, keep in mind that the way to spend the most time with your guests on the wedding day is to take the majority of your photos with both the bride and groom, family, and irresistible friends before the ceremony if possible. Have water, light snacks, and a place to sit for the extended family and wedding party during the pre ceremony prep hours so there will be no shrinking violets or grumpy groomsmen to contend with while taking photos before the ceremony.

Weddings often take on a secondary role as a family reunion too. So leave enough time in the wedding weekend for informal "get togethers" with distant relatives if you like. Weddings are often a time to renew old friendships and make new connections with the new (in-law) family too.

Don't expect the over 60 crowd to stay until the last note is sung, even if they were disco dance champions in the 70's. They had a great time, but something on or in their bodies starts to talk back after about 6 hours of eating, drinking, and dancing, so don't take their actions as a barometer of your wedding in anyway. The later everyone shows up to the brunch is a good indication of whom had spent the most time at the bar and on dance floor the night before.

Hopefully, you will be able to take a deep breath and get a good night sleep the next day, giving you some reflective moments before you leave for the honeymoon.

Caring For Your Out-Of-Town Guests

photo: hreadyluck.com

Tobey Dodge is a wonderful event coordinator--gracious, competent, with a great sense of humor--a rare combination! Here she offers some advice on what to do with out-of-town guests, an often overlooked aspect to wedding planning

What to do with Your Traveling Guests

Over the last 20 years I have seen my share of destination weddings, both in town when most guests are from out of town or when most everyone is going out of town to a distant location. Often brides try and figure out activities that the traveling guests will enjoy from the minute they touch down on the tarmac to the last dance of the wedding night. The guests are often picked up by limo or shuttle and whisked away to the hotel or resort where they are staying.

The logistical juggling act begins when the bride and groom attempt to drop gift bags off to the designated hotels while simultaneously attending the carefully choreographed events as the guests trickle into town on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday before the wedding. So keep in mind that families do vary in their attitudes of how much hand-holding they want to do for their nearest and dearest of kin.

If you have special needs guests, or want to have a hang loose kind of weekend, it's best to let your traveling guests know that ahead of time so no one has made assumptions in either direction on what to expect or is expected to be taken care of during their stay.

Some brides might say, "Well there are only 20 guests coming from out of town, they can find their own way". After all, there is GPS, Mapquest etc. to get you where you are going nowadays". To tell you the truth, It really doesn't matter if the wedding is for 40 or 400, you have the same steps to take in preparing for their (guests) arrival and activities. The trick here, is to figure out a balance between letting them wander the woods of Vermont and camp out with the bears to practically wrapping the guests in swaddling from the airport ramp to their wedding dinner table seating assignments.

Even if you have globe trekkers for family and friends, everyone enjoys being taken care of to some degree for a special event like a wedding. You can always post on a wedding website the possible options for the guests to take advantage of during their stay with telephone numbers for their own scheduling needs. When you get into golf games and tennis matches, you are opting to add layers of administration and logistics to the weekend. It's best to assign someone other than immediate wedding party members to do the grunt work to make those kind of activities a reality without too much fuss or muss.

Gateway To The World

vcsphotography.com

Love, I think, is a gateway to the world, not an escape from it.
Mark Doty