Do You Know Your Partner's Answers To These 25 Questions?

photo: laurenlouisephotography.com

 

Flip through any wedding magazine and most likely you’ll come across an article with a title such as: “8 Nitty-Gritty Must-Have Conversations Before You Walk Down the Aisle.”

The article will challenge you to reflect on the conversational health of your relationship with a list of questions such as:

·      How do we feel about having kids?

·      How will we handle our money?

·      Who cleans the toilet?

·      What about the in-laws?

·      What don’t we agree on?

·      How do we keep the sparks flying?

·      What’s our arguing style?

·      How will we balance work and play?

These are essential questions and my hope is that a couple has answered these questions before coming to discuss the ceremony with me. If they haven’t, then I offer communication coaching that helps a couple hone their skills.

The novelist Andre Malroux claimed that, “A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.” I like that! So then the question is: what do you talk about?

Well, here’s a list I put together of 25 “non-nitty gritty” questions that are fun, silly, intriguing and revealing.  In some respects, these questions are just as important as the “serious” questions I posed above.

How many of these questions have you asked each other?

How many answers do you know?

Happy talking!

1.         What has been one of the most memorable experiences in your life?

2.         What is an experience that challenged you but ultimately made you a better person?

3.         How have you touched another person’s life (for the good)?

4.         What do you think is the weirdest thing about life in general?

5.         What is one way in which you’re mean to your self?

6.         What is the best compliment you’ve ever received? 

7.         What is the best compliment you’ve ever given?

8.         What is the worst insult you’ve ever received?

9.         What is the worst insult you’ve ever given?

10.       What is the best text you ever got?  The worst?

11.       What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

12.       What are five things you’re grateful for?

13.       What was your favorite childhood toy?

14.       What was your favorite childhood game?

15.       What was the best movie you ever saw as a kid?

16.       How are you different today from when you were in 5th grade?

17.       What is the biggest mistake you ever made?

18.       What is the failure you’re most proud of – because of what you learned from it?

19.       What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?

20.       What are five silly things you’d like to try at least once?

21.       What are your five favorite words and why?

22.       What is one thing you don’t understand about yourself?

23.       What are you most self-conscious about?

24.       Who or what do you find intimidating?

25.       Who is the smartest person you know and why are they so smart?

How To Feel "JOY" On Your Wedding Day

photo: www.linandjirsa.com

Earlier this month I officiated the wedding of Teresa and Nick. They’re a fun couple and each has a great, silly sense of humor. We hit it off right away.

When I arrived at the venue they had not seen each other. Each, though, was busy with photos and last minute touches. I marveled at how relaxed they were. They each gave me a warm welcome – some couples are so nervous they barely recognize who I am! Teresa and Nick were not just happy – they were joyful.

The odd (sad) thing is, many of my couples are more stressed than joyful.

So. how can you be joyful on your wedding day?

Well, you can do what Teresa and Nick did. . .

You invite the right guests – only those people who mean something important to you.

You hire the right team of vendors – and let them do what you’re paying them to do.

You successfully navigate the shoals of parents’ demands.

You believe without a twinge that this is person you want to travel through life with.

THEN

You abandon yourself to the joy of the experience – you just let go!

Could joy be that simple?

Yeah – it could be – and it is!

Groom Quote Of The Week

“I think love isn’t something you necessarily fall in to but you ascend to, and she presented enough challenges early on for me to ascend to not only love her but to be worthy of her love.”

Jon-Sesrie Goff of his wife Madeleine Hunt-Ehrlich

"Peace In Every Step"

photo: Chiến Phạm

This is a reading one of my couples chose for their ceremony.  I’d not heard it before and I think it’s exquisite!

Peace In Every Step

Thich Nhat Hanh

  

We really have to understand the person we want to love.

If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.

If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love. 

We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.  

From time to time, sit close to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, “Darling, do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer? Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly. I don’t want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be happy.” 

We need courage to ask these questions, but if we don’t ask, the more we love, the more we may destroy the people we are trying to love.

True love needs understanding. 

With understanding, the one we love will certainly flower.

"Is Love Enough?"

I recently came across this poem. . .I've not heard it at a wedding. . .perhaps it's right for yours?

Is love enough?

Enough for what?

To take care of. . .

the stuff life brings:

the she said, he said. . .

the walking toward and the walking away from. . .

to meet disaster whether it arrives in pin drop silence

or siren blasts. . .

to bridge the space between what you mean to say and what

you said with the hollow space of what you left unsaid. . .

to see afresh desire’s swift lights, and giddy tilts. . .

to love justice when the world forgets. . .

to see past troubles to hope. . .

Love is enough, if you remember to take care to love.

Erica Hunt

What Have You Learned From Your Fiance?!

Thank You - To Wedding Wire and To My 2016 Couples!

I'm back. . .

and honored to be recognized by my 2016 couples and by Wedding Wire!