You are a couple. You are each other’s home. And from that place of home, you may have to have conversations with family or friends that are “sticky.” Keep the following in mind:
• do not keep things bottled up inside
• speak from a place of “I”—do not begin with “you this” and “you that”
• do not accuse, do not yell, do not be sarcastic
• make it safe for you and the other--ask if you can talk with them about the issue that is troubling you
• speak assertively—not aggressively
• resist becoming defensive--take responsibility for your share of the situation without assuming a posture of guilt
• make sure you are speaking about the “right” issue—is it a particular experience or is it a pattern of behavior you need to address? Is it a specific incident or the feelings that incident aroused in you?
• focus on what it is you want from the conversation—is this person capable of giving you want you want?
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