The photo is of Kelly and Shaun’s
wedding – the first I officiated last year.
It was a very cool, overcast January day, though the warm joy of family
and friends was infectious. Kelly
recently emailed me this photo and it got me thinking about all the weddings I
had the honor of officiating in 2013 – and what I learned or re-learned from
working with so many fab couples.
For what it’s worth, here is my Top
10 list of things I still firmly believe about weddings after celebrating 73
ceremonies in 2013!
1.
If you want the ceremony to be under ten
minutes, then consider having a civil ceremony and a great party afterwards. Here’s the thing – it takes your guests more
than ten minutes to get seated! I
understand you’re nervous BUT why invite people to a ceremony if that ceremony
doesn’t have some warmth and texture to it?
2.
If you’re going to have an outdoor wedding and
you know that the sun will be glaring into the eyes of guests, provide paper umbrellas
and/or hand fans – and bottles of water!
Your guests will appreciate your kindness
3.
If you’re getting married at a site where there
will be wind and you’re wearing a long veil, know that the wind is going to
blow that veil right into your face – and you or your maid-of-honor is going to
be spending a lot of distracting time trying to keep it out of your face. I know, I know – even as an officiant, I
cannot appreciate how important that veil is!
4.
I have nine godchildren and two nieces. I love children and I do know children. Seldom will a two-year old walk all the way
down an aisle without falling or crying.
Please make sure there’s someone, either an older child or a parent, who
can give the poor kid a hand – literally!
5.
A wedding celebrates the reality of your life
together. If you have children, they are
part of your life. The day cannot be
just about the “two of you.” There are
already more than two of you! There are
sweet ways to incorporate and honor your children and your reality as family.
6.
If you have teenaged kids, think twice before
French-kissing at the end. It really is
TMI! I’m not even going to elaborate on
this point – just trust me!
7.
If you are going to offer your own vows to each
other, those words MUST be written down.
No one expects you to have anything memorized – not even your
names! And there is no way you can
memorize your vows. I can give you the
names of three grooms and one bride who will back me on this!
8.
If you cave to the emotional demands of family,
you will regret it later on in your life.
I saw my share of what I refer to as “reality show drama” last year and
it is ALL so unfair to a couple. Be
strong and take your strength from your shared vision of your life together.
9.
Be prepared for friends, relatives and parents
to say and make weird demands. I never
cease to be amazed at what people will say – and neither should you!
10.
I’ve actually never had a couple be rude to me;
however, I have worked with couples that were rude to their vendors. And I know this because those vendors, who
are friends of mine, complained to me!
Hire great professionals; be kind to them and in turn they will give you
their best. Maybe, though, I’m spoiled,
as I work on a regular basis with some of the most wonderfully creative people
you’ll ever meet.
Happy planning!
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