true story
Maura (names changed) shared with me that she loves her fiancé, Micah,
not because he “is” her life, but rather because he “gives” her life. He gives her the courage to embrace her
self—her life—and invites her to dare and create a life with him.
In the early days of dating Maura
wondered why Micah wanted to be with her.
A year ago, when he proposed, she quickly said “yes,” and then more
intently began to wonder why he would want to spend his life with her, of all people!
Maura told me that as she navigated
through her self doubts, the great gift Micah gave her was to help her see that
those doubts were just lies she told herself.
He helped her to see more clearly and freely the person she was in this
moment in her life. He helped her to
envision who she wanted to become.
Micah couldn’t live life for
her. He could, though, help her embrace
life with confidence—a confidence that comes from recognizing strengths and
acknowledging weaknesses.
And in learning to see herself with
new clarity, Maura has been able to see that she, too, gives Micah life—in ways
that he had never experienced before.
SANITY SAVER questions:
·
What do
you most like about yourself?
·
Which of
your partner’s character strengths help you be a better person?
·
Which of
your character strengths help your partner be a better person?
Please understand that I’m not
asking you to consider what you’re going to do for your partner. Rather,
I’m asking you to consider what it is about you that you prize so much that you
want to share it with your partner.
Do these questions make you
squirm? Good!
When confronted by questions like
these, most of us do squirm. Often times
we feel uncomfortable reflecting upon and naming the good that we are BUT name
it you must.
The more you understand and
appreciate what makes you unique and what you bring to your marriage, the more
confidently will you say “I do.”
To love your partner and to respect and
love your relationship,
you must know how to learn to honor
yourself.
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