It’s very easy to be seduced by
“crazy thinking” while in the throes of wedding planning. To help you
understand just how easy it is, consider these questions. How many do you nod
your head to in agreement? How many can your partner answer with a “yes”?
1. When stumped as to how to make
some wedding detail perfect, do you get easily frustrated?
2. Do you feel suffocated by all
the things you never realized you should do for your wedding?
3. Are you and your partner
fighting frequently over wedding details?
4. Do you feel that the planning is
slipping out of your hands and into those of your partner, parents or vendors?
5. Are you afraid to speak up and
voice your opinion?
6. Do you spend large amounts of
time consciously and unconsciously worrying about what your families and
friends will think about your wedding?
7. Are you feeling more confused
than focused?
8. Are you willing to sacrifice
what you want for the wedding for the sake of pleasing your parents?
9. Are you easily influenced when a
vendor says that you “really should” consider a particular item related to your
wedding?
10. Are many of your decisions
based on how not to upset or disappoint or offend people involved in your
wedding?
11. Are you spending more time
worrying than laughing?
12. Are you venting on people who
are really not responsible for your decisions?
If you have more “yes” answers than
“no” answers then most likely you are buying into one of more or these classic,
crazy-making beliefs:
1. It must be perfect or it’s no
good.
2. There are things you “should” do
no matter what you want.
3. There are situations in which
you are helpless and have no choice.
4. You are totally responsible for
how family and friends feel.
So, how can you turn those “yes”
answers into resounding “no” answers? I suggest that you pick out the one crazy-making
belief you most easily buy into. Have your partner do the same. Share your
“craziness” with each other and consider:
• Why do you buy into this
irrational belief?
• How does it make you feel?
• Does it help you with your
planning?
• Does it make you feel relaxed?
Confident?
• Do you think your stress could be
reduced if you didn’t buy into this crazy-making belief?
• Why are you clinging to this
thinking?
• What do you think is the worst
thing that could happen if you let go of this belief?
Talk to your partner and find out
what you can do to help him or her feel safer, calmer, and more assured that
all will be well. Learn how you can help him or her not so readily buy into
their favorite emotional lie.
Remember: Only when you reject these crazy-making beliefs can your
wedding be a joyful event, grounded in your truth.
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