It was six weeks before their
wedding and Chad and Lisa still had not hired an officiant. Towards the end of our meeting, the
conversation turned to Chad’s upcoming Vegas bachelor party weekend.
After Lisa humorously warned him
that nothing better happen, he reassured her with these immortal words: You have nothing to worry about. Nothing’s
going to happen even if she goes into the bedroom with me.
She? Bedroom?
I’m stunned as Lisa slapped him in the arm. Seems Chad’s boys told him that they’re going
to get him a stripper. He didn’t want a
stripper, but how could he tell them that?
He didn’t want to ruin their fun and besides, it’s tradition!
By the time our conversation ended,
I wasn’t even sure if Chad and Lisa were going to have a ceremony for me to
officiate!
Okay, so I get “it”—Chad wants to
preserve his image with his boys, but at what cost? Although Lisa & Chad eventually invited
me to officiate their ceremony, I declined.
Simply put, I thought they had too many unresolved issues with not
enough communication skills in place.
I’ve frequently written here and
elsewhere that communication is at the heart of your relationship. A cliché, I know, BUT it’s true!
That Lisa found out about Chad’s
plans while at a meeting to discuss the ceremony, speaks volumes about the
quality of their conversations. That he
wasn’t able to tell his supposed best friends what he wanted and did not want,
speaks volumes about his ability to assert himself. And without being able to express what it is
your thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, it’s going to be hard to offer an “I
Do” that is authentic, confident, and that expresses your willingness to DO all
that is implied in that “I Do.”
If you can’t be honest with your
partner before your wedding day, there’s no reason to believe that you’ll be
able to be honest the day after your wedding day.
Are there things you haven’t told
your partner? Topics you’ve been
reluctant to bring up? What are you
afraid of? Now’s the time to talk!
