What my marriage taught me is that real love is only what you
give. That's all. Love is not "out there," waiting for you. It is in
you. In your own heart, in what you are willing to give of it. We are all
capable of love, but few of us have the courage to do it properly. You can take
a person's love and waste it. But you are the fool. . .Love is joy. Those who
love, no matter what indignities, what burdens they carry, are always full of
joy.
Recipes for a Perfect Marriage
I recently came across this quote
and presumed it was another sappy sentiment on love and commitment, but I
stopped when I read the phrase, “You can take a person’s love and waste
it.” I’ve never really thought about how
I could “waste” someone’s love. I
suppose I’ve focused on how a person could waste my time but not how I could
waste their love.
What does it mean to waste a
person’s love? Kind of a no-brainer
question, but still I’ve been reflecting on it.
The dictionary definition for “waste” is: to use, consume, or spend thoughtlessly or
carelessly; to pass without being put to use.
If you think about it, at the heart
of your vows is the promise not to waste each other’s love––not to treat each
other thoughtlessly or carelessly and to always put the love your partner
offers you to good use.
I like that notion of actually
putting each other’s love to good purpose.
While love makes no demands, in order to experience love fully you have
to believe that you’re worthy of love.
And to receive the love of another person is to feel energized. If you feel loved, then you have to feel
energetic in wanting to do some good, to make less bruised this crazy world of
ours.
Love is always offered in a spirit
of hope––hope that despite whatever messiness there is in the beloved’s life,
she or he, because of our love, will be able to make sense of it all and create
a meaningful life.
To believe in your partner’s love
is to believe that their love speaks truth to any of your fears.
If you waste your partner’s love,
you’re wasting an opportunity to become more fully you and so it is true for
your partner and your love.
I think that in this exhausting
world of ours, to love mindfully and generously is a wildly brave thing to
do. So go wild!
