This is a reading one of my couples chose for their ceremony. I’d not heard it before and I think it’s exquisite!
Peace In Every Step
Thich Nhat Hanh
We really have to understand the person we want to love.
If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.
If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.
We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations and suffering of the person we love. This is the ground of real love. You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.
From time to time, sit close to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, “Darling, do I understand you enough? Or am I making you suffer? Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly. I don’t want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be happy.”
We need courage to ask these questions, but if we don’t ask, the more we love, the more we may destroy the people we are trying to love.
True love needs understanding.
With understanding, the one we love will certainly flower.