It was six weeks before their wedding and Chad and Lisa still had not hired an officiant. Towards the end of our meeting, the conversation turned to Chad’s upcoming Vegas bachelor party weekend.
After Lisa humorously warned him that nothing better happen, he reassured her with these immortal words: You have nothing to worry about. Nothing’s going to happen even if she goes into the bedroom with me.
She? Bedroom? I’m stunned as Lisa slapped him in the arm. Seems Chad’s boys told him that they’re going to get him a stripper. He didn’t want a stripper, but how could he tell them that? He didn’t want to ruin their fun and besides, it’s tradition!
By the time our conversation ended, I wasn’t even sure if Chad and Lisa were going to have a ceremony for me to officiate!
Okay, so I get “it”—Chad wants to preserve his image with his boys, but at what cost? Although Lisa & Chad eventually invited me to officiate their ceremony, I declined. Simply put, I thought they had too many unresolved issues with not enough communication skills in place.
I’ve frequently written here and elsewhere that communication is at the heart of your relationship. A cliché, I know, BUT it’s true!
That Lisa found out about Chad’s plans while at a meeting to discuss the ceremony, speaks volumes about the quality of their conversations. That he wasn’t able to tell his supposed best friends what he wanted and did not want, speaks volumes about his ability to assert himself. And without being able to express what it is your thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, it’s going to be hard to offer an “I Do” that is authentic, confident, and that expresses your willingness to DO all that is implied in that “I Do.”
If you can’t be honest with your partner before your wedding day, there’s no reason to believe that you’ll be able to be honest the day after your wedding day.
Are there things you haven’t told your partner? Topics you’ve been reluctant to bring up? What are you afraid of? Now’s the time to talk!