Flip through any wedding magazine and most likely you’ll come across an article with a title such as: “8 Nitty-Gritty Must-Have Conversations Before You Walk Down the Aisle.”
The article will challenge you to reflect on the conversational health of your relationship with a list of questions such as:
· How do we feel about having kids?
· How will we handle our money?
· Who cleans the toilet?
· What about the in-laws?
· What don’t we agree on?
· How do we keep the sparks flying?
· What’s our arguing style?
· How will we balance work and play?
These are essential questions and my hope is that a couple has answered these questions before coming to discuss the ceremony with me. If they haven’t, then I offer communication coaching that helps a couple hone their skills.
The novelist Andre Malroux claimed that, “A happy marriage is a long conversation that always seems too short.” I like that! So then the question is: what do you talk about?
Well, here’s a list I put together of 25 “non-nitty gritty” questions that are fun, silly, intriguing and revealing. In some respects, these questions are just as important as the “serious” questions I posed above.
How many of these questions have you asked each other?
How many answers do you know?
1. What has been one of the most memorable experiences in your life?
2. What is an experience that challenged you but ultimately made you a better person?
3. How have you touched another person’s life (for the good)?
4. What do you think is the weirdest thing about life in general?
5. What is one way in which you’re mean to your self?
6. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?
7. What is the best compliment you’ve ever given?
8. What is the worst insult you’ve ever received?
9. What is the worst insult you’ve ever given?
10. What is the best text you ever got? The worst?
11. What is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?
12. What are five things you’re grateful for?
13. What was your favorite childhood toy?
14. What was your favorite childhood game?
15. What was the best movie you ever saw as a kid?
16. How are you different today from when you were in 5th grade?
17. What is the biggest mistake you ever made?
18. What is the failure you’re most proud of – because of what you learned from it?
19. What would you do if you knew you wouldn’t fail?
20. What are five silly things you’d like to try at least once?
21. What are your five favorite words and why?
22. What is one thing you don’t understand about yourself?
23. What are you most self-conscious about?
24. Who or what do you find intimidating?
25. Who is the smartest person you know and why are they so smart?