How To Stay Sane While Planning for Your Wedding!

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Happy Valentine's Day!

You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving.

The great acts of love are done by those
who are habitually performing small acts of kindness.

We pardon to the extent that we love.

Love is knowing that even when you are alone,
you will never be lonely again.

And great happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved.

Loved for ourselves.

And even loved in spite of ourselves.

~ Victor Hugo ~

Monday, February 9, 2015

FREE Book Give-Away - Really - Free!

February is National Weddings Month.  Not sure why – perhaps because Valentine’s Day is “the” day for proposals!   And so with a nod to the holiday, here’s a story in honor of all things wedding.

I was at a Starbucks when I bumped into Meredith (names changed), a bride whose wedding I officiated four years ago. Everything that could have gone wrong with her wedding did.

The florist mixed up the flowers for her bouquet. The musicians were late. The shuttle van from the hotel broke down and guests were stranded for half an hour. Shortly before the ceremony, the zipper on her dress broke. The ceremony was delayed more than an hour.

Through it all she remained calm, not once getting angry. I was in awe and now, finally, I could ask how she did it. Meredith said, “It was the happiest day of our life and Patrick (groom) and I decided we wouldn’t let anything ruin our joy.”

The months leading up to the wedding were stressful beginning with her dad pressuring them to get married in the Catholic Church. Since she and Patrick aren’t regular churchgoers, she thought it’d be hypocritical.  Her mother insisted that she didn’t want anything to do with her ex-husband’s third wife and didn’t want the woman sitting in the front row even though Meredith’s dad was paying for the wedding,

At our last meeting before the wedding, when I asked how they were doing, Patrick said: “Well, we’re learning to say ‘I’m sorry’ to each other a lot faster than we used to.”

We laughed, BUT he did speak to an important issue—communication.  It’s because they had a clear vision of their wedding, grounded in months of honest conversation, that no mishap, however surprising or annoying, was able to ruin the magic of their dream day.

Over the years I’ve seen the startling difference between couples who communicate with trust and confidence and those who are stuck in a rut of complaining and accusing. The former celebrate their wedding day with sparkling eyes while the later struggle just to survive the day.

To help all couples who might not yet have Meredith’s and Patrick’s vision and skill, I wrote an e-book:

The heart of this book is my belief that the quality of your life is in direct proportion to the quality of the communication in your life.

This book offers you tips, tricks, and techniques for communicating in ways that will help you:
·      Resist pressure from family and friends so you make decisions that honor and reflect you and your partner.
·      Express your emotions without saddling guilt trips on each other.
·      Argue fairly so you don’t drive each other crazy.
·      Listen so you can both be on the same page.
·      Sit down and talk about the issues you’ve been avoiding.
·      Look at challenges from each other’s P.O.V. so you can solve seemingly unsolvable problems.

In each chapter I ask Sanity Saver questions to help you and your partner become aware of your communication strengths and blind spots—individually and as a couple. Sanity Saver quizzes and activities will also help you and your partner learn how to play off each other’s strengths and minimize weaknesses.

Threaded throughout are my reflections and insights on the sweetness and wackiness of weddings, along with the everyday heroics of marriage.

In honor of National Weddings Month, you can download a free copy (from the 9th through the 13th) of the book by simply Clicking Here

Each time you turn to this book I hope you find a chapter that makes you smile in recognition, sigh with relief and assure you that you and your partner can protect each other from the nightmares of wedding planning so as together keep your “I” in your “I Do!”


Thursday, February 5, 2015

A Gift For Your 25th Wedding Anniversary – Huh?!

Okay, so I know that you’re busy planning your wedding – and not your anniversary party!  You might even feel like you’re losing your mind in the midst of all this planning madness. . .

However, I’d like to suggest a gift you can offer to each other, the day of your wedding.

Before your wedding day write a letter to each other, in which you describe what you hope your life will look like when you celebrate your 25th wedding anniversary.

Place these letters in a keepsake box––or even in your safe deposit box!

Every year write a letter to each other on your anniversary, describing what the previous year has been like for you and what you hope for the coming year.

Add the letters to the box.

Don’t read the letters until your 25th anniversary.

Okay, so maybe you don’t want to wait that long! But wait until your 5th or 10th, or read them during a time when you each need to remember your dreams and hopes for each other.

Monday, February 2, 2015

Best Quote Of the Year!

Last weekend, I officiated a wedding.  We were five minutes from “show time” and the event planner had sequestered me with the groom and his groomsmen.

At one point Pete, the groom, turned to me and with some exasperation said, “This is stupid! Why am I a mess?”

I laughed.  The groomsmen laughed.  Pete kinda laughed.

It’s probably one of the best questions I’ll hear all year!

So, why was Pete a mess?  While I can’t say for certain, I think it has to do with what the writer Madeleine L’Engle claimed:

“But ultimately there comes a moment when a decision must be made. Ultimately two people who love each other must ask themselves how much they hope for as their love grows and deepens, and how much risk they are willing to take.  Because it is the nature of love to create, a marriage itself is something which has to be created, so that,
together we become a new creature.

To marry is the biggest risk in human relations that a person can take

No wonder Pete was a mess!