Over the holidays, while blizzard-bound in NYC, I read “The Happiness Project.” It is Gretchen Rubin’s accounting of what she did during the course of a year to expand her ability to take pleasure and happiness in her life. She has some wonderful musings on marriage, commitment, and love.
While this passage speaks to her marriage, it also speaks to what you need to keep in mind as you plan your wedding.
"When thinking about happiness in marriage, you may have an almost irresistible impulse to focus on your spouse, to emphasize how he or she should change in order to boost your happiness. But the fact is, you can’t change anyone but yourself. A friend told me that her “marriage mantra” was, “I love Leo, just as he is.” I love Jamie just as he is. I can’t make him do a better job of doing household chores, I can only stop myself from nagging—and that makes me happier. When you give up expecting a spouse to change (within reason), you lessen anger and resentment, and that creates a more loving atmosphere in a marriage."
No comments:
Post a Comment