JP REYNOLDS WEDDING BLOG!

How To Stay Sane While Planning for Your Wedding!

Saturday, April 30, 2011

If You Could Read My Mind

  Ray Soemarsono of Apertura

As you know, the wedding planning process is laced with stress. And often times stress bubbles up from unrealistic expectations.

Studies have shown that the longer we’ve known someone, the more we love someone, the more we expect that person to know us so well that we don’t have to tell them what we’re thinking. As whacky as it sounds, we expect them to be able to read our mind!

When meeting with couples for pre-marital coaching, I hear classic phrases such as, “Why do I have to ask him? He should know without me asking.” “She said she didn’t care. How was I supposed to know that this was a big deal to her?”

In the midst of “should” and “why” and “supposed to” it’s vital to remember that your partner is many wonderful things, BUT, he / she is not a mind reader. And even though they can’t read your mind, they still do love you!

There are many people who will play games with you as you plan for your wedding. Please don’t play games with each other.

If you need your partner to know how you’re feeling or what you’re thinking or needing, let them know. Don’t blame; don’t accuse. Just tell them.
And if you’re not sure what it is your partner is saying, ask for clarification. Admit that you don’t understand.

Here are some non-mind-reading phrases:

“I need you to know that____.”
“I’m feeling _____ right now and I need you to_______.”
“I want to help and I’m not sure how. What can I do?”
“I’m not sure I understand what you mean when you say______.”
“Are you sure everything is good because you look _______. Are you?”

Be kind to each other and don’t try to read each other’s mind.

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