JP REYNOLDS WEDDING BLOG!

How To Stay Sane While Planning for Your Wedding!

Saturday, June 15, 2013

The Perfectionist's Curse



true story (names changed)
I spoke with Miriam three days before her wedding; she was in tears from stress. It was a garden ceremony and she was tying purple ribbons around one hundred and fifty hand fans, which would also serve as programs.

When I asked why she was adding the ribbons, she explained that the purple would match her bridesmaids’ dresses and it was the main color theme. I gently pointed out that only a handful of men might notice the purple ribbons so she could cut the ribbons by half. She laughed. When I said that I wasn’t kidding, she looked annoyed and then said what I fear most for a bride: “but I want everything to be perfect.”

Here is the first crazy-making lie that couples play in their heads:
everything must be PERFECT in order for it to be good.

Trust me, five years after your wedding few if any will remember the purple ribbons. Now when I ran this by several women friends, each told me that no bride wants to hear what I just wrote. So why am I ignoring the advice of trusted friends?

Well, I asked Miriam if she had any friends who could help her tie the ribbons. She said she didn’t want to bother anyone. And besides, she wanted to make sure the ribbons were done right. Stop! Devotion to perfection is the downfall of every bride.

Sanity Saver Questions:
• Do you and your fiancé have the same idea of “perfection?”
• What is the price you’re willing to pay for perfection?
• Do you know just how much a price you’re going to pay for “perfection”?

Remember: your wedding day is bigger than ribbons—and ring pillows and place cards and running make-up!

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