Last month I met a fellow who is getting married in a Catholic church. Neither he nor his fiancée go to Sunday Mass. They wanted to have an outdoor ceremony. His parents “threw a fit.” They threatened to boycott the wedding. He and his fiancée didn’t want to hurt his parents, so they caved-in. Now they are not happy and they just want to get the whole “thing” over with.
The simple truth is—you are not responsible for other people’s feelings. We are each responsible for our own feelings—and the choices we make based on those feelings.
Brides often tell me of the compromises they’ve made so as to “make peace.” It’s fine to please your mother and go with her choice of table linen. It’s another thing to get married in a church, where you don’t even worship, just to make your parents happy.
Remember--this is your wedding.
This is not your friends’ wedding. It is not your vendors’ wedding. And it certainly is not your parents’ wedding.
While it is good and important to keep others’ feelings and wishes in mind, it is not in your best interest as a couple to be guided by the mantra, “we don’t want to hurt anyone.”
You are not going to please everyone. It is not your responsibility to please everyone. Nor are you responsible for how people react to your choices.
Be true to who you are as a couple and create a wedding that authentically celebrates you.
No comments:
Post a Comment