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Friday, February 21, 2014

10 Things I Learned For Sure About Weddings In 2013



The photo is of Kelly and Shaun’s wedding – the first I officiated last year.  It was a very cool, overcast January day, though the warm joy of family and friends was infectious.  Kelly recently emailed me this photo and it got me thinking about all the weddings I had the honor of officiating in 2013 – and what I learned or re-learned from working with so many fab couples.

For what it’s worth, here is my Top 10 list of things I still firmly believe about weddings after celebrating 73 ceremonies in 2013!

1.     If you want the ceremony to be under ten minutes, then consider having a civil ceremony and a great party afterwards.  Here’s the thing – it takes your guests more than ten minutes to get seated!  I understand you’re nervous BUT why invite people to a ceremony if that ceremony doesn’t have some warmth and texture to it?  

2.     If you’re going to have an outdoor wedding and you know that the sun will be glaring into the eyes of guests, provide paper umbrellas and/or hand fans – and bottles of water!  Your guests will appreciate your kindness

3.     If you’re getting married at a site where there will be wind and you’re wearing a long veil, know that the wind is going to blow that veil right into your face – and you or your maid-of-honor is going to be spending a lot of distracting time trying to keep it out of your face.  I know, I know – even as an officiant, I cannot appreciate how important that veil is!

4.     I have nine godchildren and two nieces.  I love children and I do know children.  Seldom will a two-year old walk all the way down an aisle without falling or crying.  Please make sure there’s someone, either an older child or a parent, who can give the poor kid a hand – literally!

5.     A wedding celebrates the reality of your life together.  If you have children, they are part of your life.  The day cannot be just about the “two of you.”  There are already more than two of you!  There are sweet ways to incorporate and honor your children and your reality as family.

6.     If you have teenaged kids, think twice before French-kissing at the end.  It really is TMI!  I’m not even going to elaborate on this point – just trust me!

7.     If you are going to offer your own vows to each other, those words MUST be written down.  No one expects you to have anything memorized – not even your names!  And there is no way you can memorize your vows.  I can give you the names of three grooms and one bride who will back me on this!

8.     If you cave to the emotional demands of family, you will regret it later on in your life.  I saw my share of what I refer to as “reality show drama” last year and it is ALL so unfair to a couple.  Be strong and take your strength from your shared vision of your life together.

9.     Be prepared for friends, relatives and parents to say and make weird demands.  I never cease to be amazed at what people will say – and neither should you!

10.  I’ve actually never had a couple be rude to me; however, I have worked with couples that were rude to their vendors.  And I know this because those vendors, who are friends of mine, complained to me!  Hire great professionals; be kind to them and in turn they will give you their best.  Maybe, though, I’m spoiled, as I work on a regular basis with some of the most wonderfully creative people you’ll ever meet.

Happy planning!

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