I write a weekly column for “The
Tolucan Times” and Vivian (name changed)
recently wrote me:
“Four years ago my husband Jake was terminated from his job at the age
of 59. As you can imagine, he experienced depression and a loss of
identity. Because he had two open-heart
surgeries in the previous ten years, he didn’t have it in him to begin a new
corporate career. He prayed for
direction, asking to be shown a way. Originally
he came to LA to be a comedy writer.
Through a series of events, he now has his work on GoComics.com. He receives mail from many who thank him for
the smiles, saying his cartoons helped them through chemo and other difficult
life events. The inspiring thing about my husband’s journey that motivates me is
that life is full of opportunities, often unknown, and that every day is a new
beginning - perhaps the opportunity to reinvent oneself, to dare to try
something we always dreamed about.”
I think Vivian’s tribute to Jake is
what Valentine’s Day is all about – without the mush! Vivian’s admiration of Jake is grounded in
thanks and hope and she reminds me that there is no gratitude without hope.
To give thanks for what we can see
also acknowledges that there is more to come because “every day is a new
beginning.” However, I think it’s easier
to say, “I’m thankful” than it is to say, “I’m hopeful.” That’s because real hope is always big and it
requires that we have a generous attitude looking to the future. And that takes courage. Vivian and Jake, each and together, are
courageous people.
I’m challenged by Vivian’s story
because I don’t think I’m a hopeful person.
I think “to hope” can seem like
it’s leaving things up to chance and I don’t want to take a chance on chance
because I’m never lucky!
And I don’t think I’m really a
grateful person because I’m never satisfied.
I keep pushing myself without pausing to take stock of what I’ve
accomplished and what has been given me.
So what to do? Live from cautious hope? Live with meager thanks? That simply won’t do. I think we’re asked to
do what Jake and Vivian did. Vivian loved her husband by bearing witness to his
pain and struggle. And in Vivian’s
unwavering gaze, Jake was able to remember what he’d forgotten – his love of humor.
And so, somehow, in that mixture of
faith and hope, fear and love, together they were able to strive to create anew
their life – present and future – despite the sirens of the unknown.
I think that this is the truest
love of Valentine’s Day!
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