When I first meet with couples,
they presume that they’re interviewing me.
And they are. However, what they
don’t realize is that I’m also interviewing them! I’m looking and listening for that “click,”
that moment where I get who they are as a couple; where I get a glimpse into
why they’re doing what they’re doing.
Sometimes, though, by the end of
our meeting, I’m puzzled. I don’t quite
understand them as a “couple.” And
that’s okay as it would be remarkable if I did “get” every couple.
The following is a quiz of sorts,
adapted from relationship guru, John Gottman: How well do you know your partner?
Here’s the thing, though: if there
are more questions you can’t answer than you can answer, then THE big question is––why
are you marrying someone you don’t know well?!
·
Who are your partner's two closest friends?
·
What is the most challenging stress your partner
is wrestling with?
·
What are the two things that easily irritate
your partner? Hopefully you’re not one
of them!
·
What is your partner's life dream?
·
How many credit cards does your partner have and
how much debt is on those cards?
·
What is your partner’s most legitimate fear
about marrying you?
·
How does your partner respect you?
·
Why does your partner want to marry you?
·
What aspect of your partner’s parents’ marriage
does s/he not want to repeat?
·
Who is your partner’s role model for married
life?
