This is my 100th posting
and while it’s a modest milestone, I’m thrilled to have reached it. If you read through the blog I think you’ll
see that I’ve been lucky and blessed to meet up with some wonderful
people––couples, their families, friends, along with some of the most talented,
creative, and deep-down good people you’ll ever find wandering the earth!
And if you read through my blog,
you’ll also notice that I’ve had some unusual, if not downright wacky
experiences! I always say that I may not
have seen it all, BUT I’ve seen a lot.
In a spirit of celebration, I’m
going to tell you one of my all-time favorite wedding stories––a story that
comes with an important lesson.
It was an outdoor wedding. Argentina and Marco (30’s) had been together
five years and were great partners.
Towards the end of their ceremony I zapped them with a blessing and was
on the verge of pronouncing them husband & wife when suddenly, Argentina’s
mother stood up and walked towards me.
I was puzzled, but then I
remembered she was a widow. Maybe she
wanted to thank folks for coming; maybe she was supposed to read a poem and the
couple forgot to tell me.
I walked over to her and in a voice
only I could hear, she said these immortal words: “Do not pronounce them
husband & wife, I have reservations.”
I was beyond stunned. I thought, “sweetheart,
do you really think I’m going to hand over my mic so we can enjoy a Jerry
Springer moment?”
I smiled and said to her: “the only
reservation you better have is for dinner.”
Hey, I grew up in New York City!
It was now the mother’s turn to be stunned; she didn’t move. I raced back to the couple and pronounced
them husband & wife.
The photographer, musicians, and
coordinator later swarmed me; no one could believe what had happened. But I was concerned about Argentina. As I gave her a big hug, she told me
something that I think of every time I meet with a couple. She said: “I guess I
forgot to tell you about my mother.”
Everyone knew that momma was
“nuts.” Everyone knew that momma was not happy with the marriage. And everyone told Argentina not to invite
momma. Argentina knew her mother was
trouble, but, out of guilt, she felt she “should” invite her. After all, she was her mother. And so she invited her, knowing that her mother
may attempt to disrupt the joy of her day.
Throughout the morning, Argentina
was anxious. Throughout the ceremony
many of her guests were apprehensive.
All because of her mother, who held the day hostage.
Argentina and Marco had gotten into
many arguments over her mother. And,
yes, I think I detected an “I told you so” smirk in Marco’s eyes!
While planning their wedding,
couples can easily buy into the crazy making belief that there are things they “should”
do in their wedding because that’s how things “should” be.
Do not plan your wedding out of a
sense of “should.” Plan it out of a
sense of what you and your partner want to do.
Be guided by what reflects you as a couple.
I know it's easy for me to
say. However, no one—no friend, no
family member—has the right to take your day hostage by selfish whims and
desires.
