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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Unconditional Love


A good relationship is based on unconditional love. It’s not some maudlin feeling––it’s a decision.  The mature relationship image I like best is two people making music together.  Each plays his/her own instrument and uses his/her own unique skills, but they play the same song.  Each is whole and complete.  Each is independent and committed.

         John Bradshaw

This is one of my favorite descriptions for marriage.  I especially like the last sentence: each is independent and committed.  I’m convinced that you cannot healthily enter into a marriage if you do not have a sense of your own self; if you are not committed to your own growth. 

I get a bit nervous when someone tells me that their partner is their life.  I think a partner can give life to another, but to ask that person to be the other’s life is both unfair and unreasonable.

I’m also drawn to the first sentence: a good relationship is based on unconditional love.  In marriage and especially in the wedding ceremony that phrase “unconditional love” is tossed about.  BUT, what does it mean for you to love your partner unconditionally?  What do you think is expected of you when you love unconditionally?  Answer those two questions and you are in a sure place to both offer and receive each other’s vows.